Time Magazine, with the bi-line of Belinda Luscante, said it’s good to be hitched.

A very interesting story which presents new researched base fact finding on marriage, divorce, and the business of intimate relationships.

Here are my notes from this very interesting piece.

New evidences keep piling up that few things are good for life as staying married.

Couples who have made it all the way later into life have found it to be a peak experience, says Karl Pillemer, a Cornell university gerontologist.

But elderly people said “marriage is hard, really, really hard.”

It is a “commitment device” that locks individuals to one another.

For those who can stay the course, a long marriage is worth the slog to continue.

Studies suggest that married people have better health, wealth,, and even better sex lives than singles, and will probably die happier.

Happily married people are less likely to have strokes, heart diseases or depression, and they respond better to stress and heal more quickly.

Clinically depressed people and addicts find it difficult to get and stay married. Fewer married people are depressed or addicted.

Married people are more likely to behave responsibly with their health because their life are more routine and other people need them.

Married women’s finances are generally more robust than divorced women. 

Women in committed relationships were feeling more sexually satisfied after 15 years than they were in the first phase and half of the relationship.

People in their first marriage have more sex than people in their second.

Kids from “intact marriages” as a whole , do better on most fronts than kids from divorced families , unless the marriage is very high -conflict.

How to stay married. 

Make your partner feels loved (words, time, kindly acts, sex, or gifts). 

Learn to apologize properly- and to forgive.

Embrace one another’s interest. Find things we like to do together. Have the mindset they want to stay married. 

Marriage is a discipline.

Have Sex at least once a week for optimum marital happiness. Just do it. 

The most important advice is to choose well. Just pick out a good one and get lucky.

Enjoy!

A friend of mine just forwarded this email to me. And I would like to share it with you. I don’t know the original author. If you do, please share my regards with him/her for his/her creative composition.

Those are things we’ve learned from this thing called life. 

Have a good read. Enjoy, and let me know the ones you like the best.

Roosevelt

I’ve learned….

That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned….

That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned ….

That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned….

That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. 

I’ve learned….

That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….

That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned….

That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in any other way.

I’ve learned….

That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

 I’ve learned….

That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….

That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned….

That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned….

That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….

That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…

That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned….

That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….

 That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned….

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned….

That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned….

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned….

That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned….

That life is tough, tougher when you’re stupid.

I’ve learned….

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….

That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. 

I’ve learned….

That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned….

That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned….

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned….

That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….

That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned….

That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

 —

What’s your favorite one? Tell me. Just write it below, and have the fun going!

It was 11:38 am yesterday when Marijo, my wife, called me. I was on my way to a meeting and missed her call.

I was driving and stopped at the corner of Commercial Boulevard and 441 in Fort-Lauderdale, Florida, on my way to the Florida Department of Transportation where I had my weekly Toastmasters Meeting with Club Voice.

Waiting for the red lights to turn green, I picked my phone, scanned through my recent calls and called her back.

Usually, she calls me just to check on me, just to know where I am and what I am doing.

She responded with a quiet self-assured voice: “honey, I am at the hospital. I just passed out. But, I am ok now.”

I froze.

“Really, I’ll be there in one hour. Can you call one of the kids to be with you? And I’ll join you after the meeting. I am the one presiding,” I replied.

“M konpran’n”, (I understand, ) she said  in an ironic, unhappy tone.

I was pretty close to the FDOT building. I got in the lobby, met briefly with my fellow toastmasters, and told My mentor, Kip Barkley, to take over the meeting.

“I have to go to the hospital for an emergency case,” I told him and he asked me “is this someone we know and care for.”

“Yes, my wife”, I nodded.

I drove to the hospital. I got lost. Instead of driving the normal way I know, I tried to beat the traffic by doing some local routes which lead to dead ends.

I laughed at myself.

I pulled my phone and searched for my life stream audios which are a personal development subscription I have being part of the Life Leadership Community.

I searched for Kirk Birtle’s audio “Deal with the gun shots of Life.”

Birtle is one of my favorite speaker. In this speech, he stated “life is sending all kinds of shots at you at the moment you wish the least: always expect the unexpected, and don’t panic.”

This is a very good speech and if you want to have access to it , Inbox me.  I recommend that you have a Total Access subscription to the Life Leadership personal & professional development community.

I finally got to the emergency Lobby. I had my ID pass from the security guard and went inside.

Marijo was in room 10. She was happy to see me. I was happy to see her.

It was 1:12 pm. I had an appointment at 1:30 with a colleague Toastmaster and professional writer.  We have been planing this meeting for the last 3 months.

I called  her to cancel.

“Hello D…. I have to cancel our meeting. I am sorry. An emergency comes up, I am at the hospital with my wife. She’s ok but I have to be with her at the moment.”

D….  answered “that’s fine. You are where you need to be. I wish your wife well.”

I spent the rest of the day at the hospital.

Marijo is well and will get back home today.

We have the graduation of our son Axel tomorrow morning. He will be leaving Cardinal Gibbons High School in Fort Lauderdale to go to Florida State University in Talahassee this Summer.

I thank all friends and family who shared this moment with us. And for those who didn’t know, I wrote this post.

God bless,

Roosevelt

I had the opportunity to attend a theology and philosophy orientation class last Saturday. I had one of the greatest lesson in humility that I never had. I’m glad to share it with you.

I have been postponing, thinking, and rethinking about this class for the last five years. I am still thinking about it. But, last Saturday, I was there eager to learn about this new spiritual journey.

The leader of the class had a good introduction. He shared some basic truths about life issues, and he invited us to reflect on humility and what we think we know.

We were around 30. We learned about the time commitment and the coursework.

Then at the end, the orientation leader asked us to be ready for a simple test. He handed out blank sheets of paper, pens, and told us to be ready for our first test.

“You don’t need to put your name, and this will not count in your point average,” he said asking us to just fold the paper and leave it on his desk when we are done and take a coffee break.

I felt relieved by then.  I don’t like to take test and above all in such a condition.

“Are you ready,” he asked us. “Don’t

use google, books, anything, and name in order the 10 commandments “.

“WAOH! What a test”, sighed my closed neighbor.

I sucked. The only thing I did right was to put the number 1 to 10 in a vertical order.

And I name 4 commandments I barely remembered in no specific order. I took my time before I folded my paper and put it on the table shortly after 3 other colleagues.

I made sure I was not the first one to finish.

I left the classroom, rushed to the cafeteria, grabbed a cup of coffee with cream and sugar thinking I ddon’t know what I don’t know, and a lot of things I think I know aren’t so.

I looked at one of my colleagues and I felt as embarrassed as he was in our ignorance.

If you are a business owner, you face sometimes with business killers. Laurie Woodward, one of my top public speaker, mentioned four of them as followed:  disappointments, discouragement, distractions, and temptation.

In a recent speech which I had the pleasure to listen a couple of times today, as part of my January training system delivered by the Life Leadership Company to its Professional Business Owners, Laurie Woodward shared some great tips to face those killers and to kill them before they kill us.

#1.- Disappointments

Have you ever felt disappointed? If yes, how did you feel? You might miss a goal. You feel down for missing it. Your energy is drown.

“Get over it,” Laurie said. “This is part of life. You set goals and you miss them. You keep setting them until you reach them.”

Your disappointments can come from associates or business partners who miss their own goals or simply quit.

“Attention,”Laurie advised. They might pull you down in a pit to have a pity party with them.

The key to “killing disappointments is to make them part of your story,” she said. Whenever you miss your goal, whenever one quits on you, you write it down, as part of your story.

As they say,  tragedy plus time equals humor.

Kill Disappointments with Gratitude. Be grateful to all stuff, good and bad, that happens to you. Yes, all is part of your story. Take notes, you might forget.

Control what you can control. And live the life you’ve always wanted.

#2.- Discouragement

Disappointment has to see with others while discouragement is within yourself, your state of mind, your state of being.

It’s facing your self-talk, how you listen to this little negative voice inside of you telling you every thing you can not do, every thing wrong about yourself.

For this Laurie Woodward prescribed to”stop listening to yourself, and start talking to yourself.”

Another point of discouragement is the depravity of the world as reported in the round-the-clock, real time, mobile media era. It’s so negative out there, that it could be very discouraging. You can even ask yourself what difference can you make in such a negative world.

“You can be a bright light in the darkness by being the example and saving one marriage, helping one family getting out of debt,”she said.

#3 Distractions

Distractions are everywhere. You are pulling in hundreds of directions. Your time and schedule are out of control. Distractions can come as hobbies, vacations, social media etc..

There’s always the “after distractions,”… I will.

“After the football season,”…The basketball season, the tax season etc…

You need to draw a line and be in charge of your life by controlling your time and your schedule.

There are a lot of good things out there, but there is only one great thing you were born to do. You have to decide what’s your calling, what your life was designed for, and invest massively your time, energy, and resources in that endeavor.

Don’t let distractions stand between you and your dreams. Kill distractions with a laser focus.

“Know what you want, know how much it costs, pay it,” Woodward said.

#4 Temptations

It might be as easy as having reached your goal, you’re happy, and you take time off to celebrate. Of course,there’s a time for that. But, it may not be the time you’re having momentum and by taking a break you lose THE BIG MO…

You can take a break and celebrate unless it’s your final goal. You think in your mind, and limited beliefs, you have arrived. Eureka, as the Greeks said.

“Never hit a goal until you set the next one,”Laurie  said quoting his bestselling author husband Orrin Woodward.

The train is still moving.Don’t lose your momentum by staying in the celebration period too long.

You might be tempted to blame others for your lack of success, take charge, assume responsibility. Look yourself in the mirror, have a reality check, and move on.

When things get tough, we’re tempted to just “quit.”

Quitting is the worst temptation and business killer, she said asking “what do you quit to? Quit to want?”

Quitters never win, and winners never quit. When we just quit, we develop a habit of giving up, and sets that example to our kids and future generation.

Life is hard. PUSH. Pray Until Something Happens. Proceed Until Something Happens.

Conclusion

Let’s keep the conversations going. Let me hear your comments. Have you ever been disappointed? Discouraged? How do you control distractions? how do you face temptations?

Please, share.

Roosevelt